Miss Holiday Golightly, Traveling: A Discourse on "Home"

Truman Capote's most widely known character, Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's, has on her mailbox a business card that reads "Miss Holiday Golightly, Traveling." She also has a cat named "Cat" because he doesn't belong to her and she doesn't belong to him so she has no right to give him a name. In the film version of this book she tells Paul Varjak that "If I could find a real-life place that made me feel life Tiffany's then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name." She doesn't want to buy any furniture and she doesn't want to give her cat a name until she can find a place that makes her feel peaceful and at home? That is exactly how I feel. These past few months I have been discovering that we are all just looking for a permanent place.

Since I started college this fall, I've been struggling with an internal conflict: the concept of "home." Where is home? "Home is where the heart is." What if my heart is in two places, three places, even four places at a time? Does that make all of them my home? How can one truly be content with her heart spread in so many different places? My home is in Riverside, Illinois where I grew up with a loving family and more blessings than anyone could wish for. My home is in the choir hallway and the McLaughlin theatre at St. Ignatius where I spent countless hours rehearsing, sleeping, laughing, and crying. My home is on the cross country course and in the tent that we set up before every meet. My home is at St. Louis University where I formed a family of my own and where my life is. My home is the city of Chicago at night where I feel safe and surrounded by peaceful life. I find my home in so many places and it is so difficult because there are some parts of my home that I cannot go back to. Yes, I love my choir hallway and theatre but I would never choose to go backwards in my life rather than forwards. Yes, cross country helped me to grow in so many ways, but I could never allow myself to be so exhausted all the time again. And as much as I love my family, I cannot give up this new independence and freedom of self-expression that I have found by living on my own. So my home is all over the place. Is that okay?

Yes, that's okay, but it's definitely not ideal. Or is it? Everywhere I go I will always be missing someone or something. And that is a sad idea. But, at the same time, that means that anywhere I go, I will always have someone in another city missing me. Is missing someone else worth knowing that they are missing me too? Yes, I'd say it is.

I think we are all traveling. Especially in these early years of our lives. We cannot know everything that we want and we are not ready to settle down, but we are looking forward to the moment when we are because once we have found our permanent place we can buy furniture and give the cat a name. And who doesn't want a place to sit and a furry creature named Roscoe?

Love,
Hilary