Today, my defense walls go up when I hear the word "bitch," even when it's being reclaimed, such as with Bitch magazine or the Poehler/Fey poster on the right. So as someone who very much supports reclaiming words and rising from the disrespect, how can I reconcile the fact that this word is still being used as a form of disrespect, as an echo and an emphasis of oppression? Because, while I never want to be called a bitch, I can't help but think, "hell yes, bitches do get stuff done" when I hear Tina Fey speak, when I read Bitch, when I write a criticism of some patriarchal influence that is keeping the people down. But I cannot stand the thought of people trying to degrade me with that word, the thought of someone--even a friend--asserting ownership over me by saying "you're my bitch." How can we find a balance? Is this word salvageable? Is Tina Fey's catchphrase more powerful because 'bitch' is still used to oppress? I don't know that I'll ever have the answer, but it's a good conversation to have.
I actually just had a conversation about this the other day with the new bf, who of course, did not know me back at SLU and hence has a different perspective on my/our form of feminism. He was/is(?) in the mindset that bitch is something that has moved away from being a word that demeans and is now a word that is merely a form of punctuation, if you will. We had a long conversation about it and I even had him read a copy of T's monologue, which helped get my point across.
ReplyDeleteBut when it comes down to it, I think that reclaiming bitch is different than reclaiming a word like queer. I completely get behind those in the community that desperately want to reclaim queer, I understand the thirst for it and the opportunity they see. The oppressive form of the word queer has (mostly) been replaced by other words and so it has become more or less a sort of a vacant word, devoid of true social meaning. So, while reclaiming it will still take time and still needs to be used in the right context, I really do think it stands a chance. Bitch, on the other hand, is still so closely linked to the gender roles that have defined and oppressed our society that in no context can it mean anything but less than human. Less than the ideal. Less than you.