Why I Relay--the Story of the Daughter of a Breast Cancer Survivor
Hello to all my loved ones,
As many of you may know, I am on the Steering Committee for Relay for Life at my college, St. Louis University. Relay For Life is the signature event of the American Cancer Society which helps create a world with less cancer and more birthdays by helping people get well, helping people stay well, finding cures, and fighting back. I've chosen to make the American Cancer Society the official sponsor of my birthday because I know that they are doing such great work to make sure that future generations will live in a cancer free world.
All of you know that my life has been touched by cancer. In January 2001, my mom and dad called my brother Tom and me into the living room. We'd just gotten back from Mass and it appeared to us that we would be having a very serious conversation. I don't know what Tom was thinking, but as a little ten-year-old in whom Catholic Guilt had already been instilled, I wracked my brain trying to think of something that could have gotten me into trouble. As far as I knew, Tom and I hadn't bitten each other between Mass and then so we were in the clear. But in a few minutes I was about to find out that it wasn't just me who was in trouble; it was my whole family. My mom had just found out that she had breast cancer and would be having a lumpectomy on Valentine's Day and then would go through several treatments of chemotherapy and radiation. When my parents had called me into the living room, I thought I was in trouble, but this was a different kind of trouble than I could have ever expected. This kind of trouble was far worse because I had done nothing to cause this and even worse, there was NOTHING I COULD DO TO FIX IT.
I don't think I understood exactly what cancer meant. I knew it was bad and that my mom was sick, but she was sick for a couple of months as opposed to a few days and she would get better. Of course she would get better. She's my mom. But the thing is this: Cancer Kills. And Cancer Hurts. And Cancer does everything it can to tear families apart and ruin the lives we have worked so hard for. My mom could have died. I thank God every day that she caught that lump in her breast in time and that she had the best doctors in the world.
But mostly,
I thank God every day for all of YOU. My strongest memories of this time are of my family and friends taking care of my brothers and me. People would take Tom, Chris and me to the movies or to the zoo or to the batting cages the day of and the day after my mom's treatments. On my mom's birthday, June 8th, 2001, I was with my Uncle Dan because my mom had just had a chemo treatment the day before. We were sitting outside Stella's batting cages eating ice cream and the sun was shining so brightly. We all knew we were together because of my mom, this moment wouldn't have happened without her. As we sat there, Uncle Danny said, "The sun always shines on your mom's birthday." And it really does. Because it's my mom and you all know that she is strong and you all know that she is brave and you all know that she is LOUD and there is no way in hell that she would let cancer kick her ass without a fight!
I know what my mom's time with cancer was like for me, as her daughter. What I have never known is what it was like for you all, as her brothers, her nieces, her nephews, her cousins, her friends. I can't imagine what you were all thinking because I'm sure that you all understood much better than I could have what cancer meant. And I can only know that it hurt and that it was sad and painful and terrifying because that's what cancer is. But you all also know that it brought us all together. Because I wouldn't have had that day on the bench with Uncle Danny if it hadn't happened, and I wouldn't have gone to Michigan City with the Careys. and I wouldn't have been to the movies with Uncle John, and out to dinner with Uncle Marty, and I wouldn't have had all those delicious dinners (like the pizza from the Hochs and the Portillo's from the Nagels) from all those caring people in Riverside who took care of us when we couldn't take care of ourselves by ourselves.
Now here I am. I am twenty years old and on February 14th, 2011 my mom became a TEN YEAR BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR!!! And ten years ago when I was called into the living room and told about my mom's cancer there was nothing I could do about it but now there is. Now I can help the American Cancer Society create a world with less cancer and more birthdays through Relay for Life. I want to make sure that my daughter doesn't ever have to walk into the bathroom and see her mom with tears streaming down her face and hair falling out. I want to work so that cancer does not touch my life or the lives of the people I love ever again.
I have chosen to make the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life the official sponsor of my birthday and I am asking you to do the same. At least one member of my team will be walking from 6PM-6AM on April 16th-17th because cancer never sleeps and neither do we until we find a cure. My mom will be walking in the survivor's lap and I will be walking to meet her.
Will you help me fight back? Here is the link to SLU Relay's Website:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=31868
You can search for me, Hilary Korabik. If you could just donate $5 and forward this to 5 people asking for $5 I would appreciate it so much! Here is a video from the American Cancer Society:
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTLdrHNei3M
Thank you so much for your time! I love you all and will see you soon,
Hilary
Pack nothing.
Bring only your determination to serve and your willingness to be free.
Don't wait for the bread to rise.
Take nourishment for the journey, but eat standing, be ready to move at a moments notice.
Do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind - fear, silence, submission.
Only surrender to the need of the time - to love tenderly, act justly, and walk humbly with your God.
Do not take time to explain to the neighbors. Tell only a few trusted friends and family members - then begin quickly, before you have time to sink back into the old slavery.
Set out in the dark. I will send fire to warm and encourage you. I will be with you in the fire and I will be with you in the cloud.
You will learn to eat new food and find refuge in new places. I will give you dreams in the desert to guide you safely home to that place you have not yet seen.
The stories you tell one another around the fires in the dark will make you strong and wise.
Outsiders will attack you, and some will follow you, and at times you will get weary and turn on each other from fear and fatigue and blind forgetfulness.
You have been preparing for this for hundreds of years.
I am sending you into the wilderness to make a new way and to learn my ways more deeply.
Some of you will be so changed by weathers and wanderings that even your closest friends will have to learn your features as though for the first time
Some of you will not change at all.
Some will be abandoned by your dearest loves and misunderstood by those who have known you since birth and feel abandoned by you.
Some will find new friendships in unlikely faces, and old friends as faithful and true as the pillar of God's flame.
Sing songs as you go, and hold close together
You may at times grow confused and lose your way.
Continue to call each other by the names I've given you, to help remember who you are.
Touch each other and keep telling the stories.
Make maps as you go remembering the way back from before you were born.
So you will be only the first of many waves of deliverance on these desert seas.
It is the first of many beginnings - your Paschaltide. Remain true to this mystery.
Pass on the whole story
Bring only your determination to serve and your willingness to be free.
Don't wait for the bread to rise.
Take nourishment for the journey, but eat standing, be ready to move at a moments notice.
Do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind - fear, silence, submission.
Only surrender to the need of the time - to love tenderly, act justly, and walk humbly with your God.
Do not take time to explain to the neighbors. Tell only a few trusted friends and family members - then begin quickly, before you have time to sink back into the old slavery.
Set out in the dark. I will send fire to warm and encourage you. I will be with you in the fire and I will be with you in the cloud.
You will learn to eat new food and find refuge in new places. I will give you dreams in the desert to guide you safely home to that place you have not yet seen.
The stories you tell one another around the fires in the dark will make you strong and wise.
Outsiders will attack you, and some will follow you, and at times you will get weary and turn on each other from fear and fatigue and blind forgetfulness.
You have been preparing for this for hundreds of years.
I am sending you into the wilderness to make a new way and to learn my ways more deeply.
Some of you will be so changed by weathers and wanderings that even your closest friends will have to learn your features as though for the first time
Some of you will not change at all.
Some will be abandoned by your dearest loves and misunderstood by those who have known you since birth and feel abandoned by you.
Some will find new friendships in unlikely faces, and old friends as faithful and true as the pillar of God's flame.
Sing songs as you go, and hold close together
You may at times grow confused and lose your way.
Continue to call each other by the names I've given you, to help remember who you are.
Touch each other and keep telling the stories.
Make maps as you go remembering the way back from before you were born.
So you will be only the first of many waves of deliverance on these desert seas.
It is the first of many beginnings - your Paschaltide. Remain true to this mystery.
Pass on the whole story
a poem for nietzsche/freud/taco
there is on my counter a dead fish.
a decaying fish.
this nameless fish with so many names
has gilled in his last gill-fulls of water.
fish.
taco.
nietzsche.
tony.
i don't remember his other names, but everyone had a name for him.
he was a different fish to everyone who met him.
nietzsche to me, taco to his owner.
pluralism lives.
he is dead but we cannot let him go.
a decaying fish.
this nameless fish with so many names
has gilled in his last gill-fulls of water.
fish.
taco.
nietzsche.
tony.
i don't remember his other names, but everyone had a name for him.
he was a different fish to everyone who met him.
nietzsche to me, taco to his owner.
pluralism lives.
he is dead but we cannot let him go.
"It is in the shelter of each other that the people live." --Irish Proverb
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wow. I can say without one bit of exaggeration that I just had the most wonderful, intense, and life-changing week of my life.
I spent a week with six other SLUdents, a lovely Sister, and a former Brother. I was at a place called Hope House in New Orleans, LA. Hope House is located in the neighborhood that used to be the St. Thomas Projects. Sister Lilianne and Brother Don run the place and reach out to everyone in the neighborhood, helping them and being helped by them in so many ways. Seriously, Sister Lilianne and Brother Don are real-life superheroes.
We began and ended each day with reflection. One night during reflection, I brought up one of my favorite quotes by Mother Teresa: "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." I've loved that quote ever since I first heard it, but I didn't fully recognize what it meant until this week.
The next morning, the quotes and readings that Sister Lilianne chose for our readings all surrounded the idea of belonging to each other, quite coincidentally as she had not been at the relflection we had the night before. During this reflection, I had my big revelation that turned into the theme of my week: we are all brothers and sisters. No, I know you've heard this a thousand times. But really, we are all literally brothers and sisters, it's not a figurative thing.
One time my friend/roomie, Hannah, asked me what it was like to have brothers. I'd never really thought about it before. I have a connection with my brothers that I have with no one else. We were raised together, we love each other, we would do anything for each other. If someone hurts one of my brothers or says anything negative about them, I feel hurt and upset myself, as if that person had directly hurt me. In the same manner, if one of my brothers accomplishes something, I feel so proud, as if I had done it myself. That is what siblinghood is to me. Tom and Chris are my brothers, and I am their sister. But wait. Everyone is supposed to be my brother or my sister. Every single person. I couldn't believe it. It was so simple. We are all brothers and sisters. I should be hurt any time anyone hurts any other human being, and I should be sky-high whenever anyone succeeds. Because we all belong to each other, we are all brothers and sisters in this world and we are all called to act for justice, to serve one another, and to love each other as siblings do.
Sooo, after that big revelation, I challenged myself to see everyone on my trip with me and everyone I met as my brother or my sister. And let me tell you, it hasn't been easy. But it will come, it will come. I know that with God's guidance and love, I will be able to see every individual as my brother or sister.
Aside from this, we had a beautiful trip. Our group, of "originally seven wonderful strangers", meshed unbelievably well together. I had two beautiful and wonderful leaders and friends in Briana and Rachel, and I found love and friendship in Zip, Claire, Paul, and Anne. I have been truly blessed to be a part of this group and am so grateful.
Here is a picture of us standing outside Hope House with Sister Lilianne, Brother Don, and Patrick.
I spent a week with six other SLUdents, a lovely Sister, and a former Brother. I was at a place called Hope House in New Orleans, LA. Hope House is located in the neighborhood that used to be the St. Thomas Projects. Sister Lilianne and Brother Don run the place and reach out to everyone in the neighborhood, helping them and being helped by them in so many ways. Seriously, Sister Lilianne and Brother Don are real-life superheroes.
We began and ended each day with reflection. One night during reflection, I brought up one of my favorite quotes by Mother Teresa: "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." I've loved that quote ever since I first heard it, but I didn't fully recognize what it meant until this week.
The next morning, the quotes and readings that Sister Lilianne chose for our readings all surrounded the idea of belonging to each other, quite coincidentally as she had not been at the relflection we had the night before. During this reflection, I had my big revelation that turned into the theme of my week: we are all brothers and sisters. No, I know you've heard this a thousand times. But really, we are all literally brothers and sisters, it's not a figurative thing.
One time my friend/roomie, Hannah, asked me what it was like to have brothers. I'd never really thought about it before. I have a connection with my brothers that I have with no one else. We were raised together, we love each other, we would do anything for each other. If someone hurts one of my brothers or says anything negative about them, I feel hurt and upset myself, as if that person had directly hurt me. In the same manner, if one of my brothers accomplishes something, I feel so proud, as if I had done it myself. That is what siblinghood is to me. Tom and Chris are my brothers, and I am their sister. But wait. Everyone is supposed to be my brother or my sister. Every single person. I couldn't believe it. It was so simple. We are all brothers and sisters. I should be hurt any time anyone hurts any other human being, and I should be sky-high whenever anyone succeeds. Because we all belong to each other, we are all brothers and sisters in this world and we are all called to act for justice, to serve one another, and to love each other as siblings do.
Sooo, after that big revelation, I challenged myself to see everyone on my trip with me and everyone I met as my brother or my sister. And let me tell you, it hasn't been easy. But it will come, it will come. I know that with God's guidance and love, I will be able to see every individual as my brother or sister.
Aside from this, we had a beautiful trip. Our group, of "originally seven wonderful strangers", meshed unbelievably well together. I had two beautiful and wonderful leaders and friends in Briana and Rachel, and I found love and friendship in Zip, Claire, Paul, and Anne. I have been truly blessed to be a part of this group and am so grateful.
Here is a picture of us standing outside Hope House with Sister Lilianne, Brother Don, and Patrick.
Love to you all, my brothers and sisters.
sacredness & storytelling All rights reserved Design by Blog Milk : Blogger